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Thursday, 25 August 2016

Wedding Series: Contentment

In the lead up to the wedding, I really struggled with the pressure. Not in a bridezilla way but I felt like life was on hold and everything was all building up for this one day.  It was exciting but it was hard work.  All spare time was focused on the wedding, I wasn't able to give Freddie my full attention and it wasn't made any easier with Chris being away for 5 weeks in the lead up to the wedding, we barely saw each other and it was hard.

Two weeks ago, our day came.  The Sun shone, the music played, tears fell, oh so many tears.  It was the most magical, emotional day of our lives.  Standing saying our vows and all I could hear was sobbing, from my bridesmaids, from Chris who was trembling with emotion and my own pounding heart sounded as if it may explode from my chest, with anticipation and emotion.  I was unable to get through our personal promises without a few breaks, I couldn't speak for overwhelming emotion.  Our day was beautiful, in every sense of the word.  Beautiful skies, beautiful decor, beautiful scenes of children running wild on the lawns and most of all beautiful love.  Not just the love between Chris an I but between our families and friends, I could never put into words all the individual moments that happened throughout the day. Kind words, tight hugs, emotional looks.  I felt like time was standing still. I was in a blur of happiness, and amazement that despite everything our day was everything we ever dreamed.

I felt like I was floating, I was so unwell the morning of the wedding and a felt like I needed to lie down a few times in the day, it was so overwhelming, I didn't drink a drop of alcohol and yet I felt so drunk. Drunk on Love as my friend Bey would say.  My girls were my rocks, Amy, Jade, Emma and Lauren - Thank you.  Thank you for making my day so special. Thank you for holding me together. Thanks for spoiling me with beautiful gifts, you didn't need too, your love and support were enough.

I thought my heart was going to burst when I saw my little baby boy walk up the isle, he held my sisters hand and as he struggled up the steps, Jade took his other hand and helped him, I could have burst right there and then.  I was so nervous, waiting for my turn to walk, Amy turned and we whispered how much we loved each other, I have only know Amy only a few years and yet I feel like I have known her all my life. As I walked down the isle, trembling, seeing all the faces I love looking round at me, my legs were giving way, my dad squeezed my hand so tight, he was literally holding me up. Then I saw Chris.  And that was it.  I honestly don't remember anything else.  It was like it was just us.  No one else.  Just the two of us meeting.  In reality there was music, people whispering, Freddie playing, and yet my memory is that is was silent. Pin dropping silence.

We said our vows, exchanged rings and we had both written our own personal promises, the emotions was so high, we could barely get through them for the tears. It was beautiful and it was like we were in our own special moment.

I guess the ceremony was about half an hour but it felt like 5 seconds. It flashed by.  The relief when it was over, the uncontrollable shaking calmed and the tears dried up.

We then enjoyed the most gorgeous afternoon in the sun.  Good music, Pimms, giant lawn games, children running through the lawns and the trees.

The evening came, the speeches were more than I ever could have imagined, I was so moved. We enjoyed a delicious bbq and yummy puddings. Like one of my little signs said "eat, drink and be married".

We had our first dance under a slide show of photos from our six years together. Our guests enjoyed the Photo Booth, and the goodies from the tables.  Chris and I snuck of for a moonlight photoshoot and then we partied hard,  and I mean real hard. It was amazing. Dancing with all my favourites, we let our hair down and my god did we need it.  We had 70 year olds down to 1 year olds throwing shapes.  It was a blur of happy faces, awful singing (screaming), old classics, Jay Z style rap battles and I think our guests drank the bar dry.

And now here we are, 2 weeks later, and wow. What a bubble we have been in of family holidays, more sunshine, soaking up all the beautiful messages left in our guest book, enjoying all the beautiful gifts people put so much thought and love into.  It has been crazy. wonderful, draining, crazy.

I know so many people say they wish they could do it all over again, or that they feel lost after the wedding and I haven't experienced that at all.  I felt relieved. I know that sounds awful but this is what we have wanted for so long.  to be married. To be Mr and Mrs Peers.  And here we are, on the sofa, in our pjs, drinking apple and blackcurrant squash,indulging in reality tv rubbish, in our own home, with our sleeping baby next door and I can say we did it. We are married.  Husband and wife.

I loved the planning, but it was hard it was like our life was on pause waiting. It was so worth it so so worth it. But I am so excited to see what married life brings.  I hope it brings us, health, happiness, a new house, another addition and lots more family adventures. But we shall see. Que Sera Sera and all that.

Before the wedding I was an ocean on the verge of a tsunami. When I woke on Saturday the 13th as Mrs P, the waves were calm, quiet and still.  I feel so content.

Lots of Love, Mrs P x

1 comment :

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